Saturday, October 6, 2007

Shmuck, Party of One


The gauntlet has been thrown. No, I'm not referring to the impending UCLA-USC football game, but to words that were spoken by my wife to me last night (a Friday night!) at 8pm. For those of you that don't know, I have been experiencing medical problems ever since we returned from a family trip to Hawaii in January 2006. I have had three extensive stays in the hospital along with over a dozen trips to the ER. All they have left me with is a few misdiagnoses and an occassional opiate addiction. Wonderful! Add to this the numerous doctors that I've seen over that period of time and I've been labeled/diagnosed with pancreatitis, ulcerative colitis, maybe Crohn's Disease, and countless parasites and fungi. Needless to say it hasn't been a pleasant experience (not counting my wedding, honeymoon, and the birth of my beautiful daughter). So last night my wife (refer to the blog I aptly titled "A hot trainer I found") challenged me to get back into shape. I'm assuming by "get back" she was referring to my sixteen year-old athletic, svelte self. The person that she remembers from summer camp many years ago. Ahhh, the good old days.

Well, what do I do? I watch her day-after-day kick the shit out of every client (in a loving, helpful, supportive way) that comes to her. And they have the luxury of leaving after an hour. I, however, am with her everyday (a very, very lucky man) and not only get the trainer side, but the nutrionist side at every meal. The hamster in my head is definitely working overtime on that wheel at the moment...

She has told me that for 12-16 weeks I will be working out (mostly with kettlebells) for 20-30 minutes five times a week and experiencing a much healthier diet. Seems like a lot to ask a man who thrives on giving into ice creamy temptations. So here I am, baring myself to the public, and asking for sound advice. What would you do? But more importantly, what should I do? The forum is now open and stay tuned for the exciting developments...


By the way, my wife is an amazing personal trainer and nutristionist and I know for sure that any of her dozens of clients would attest to that without hesitation.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

IT'S ABOUT TIME SHMUCK! LAUREN, YOU GO GIRL! GIVE IT TO HIM GOOD! BENNY BOY...HOW ABOUT A LITTLE WAGER ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS WITH YOUR OLE MAN OR ME, YOUR EVER LOVIN' MOMMA RAE? WHAT DO YOU SAY? LOVED THE ACCOMPANY-ING PHOTOS! CONTENT WASN'T BAD EITHER...EVEN FOR A SOMEBODY.

Howie B said...

Dude, first off, glad to hear you're doing well and improving. Second... DON'T DO IT!! That means no more banana bread!! It'll be torture!!

OK, but seriously. As Arnold would say, "Do it. Do it now." And you know what they say about couples that sweat together...

Kettlebells are awesome. Throw in a few other extreme bodyweight exercises and you're golden.

Good luck!

Kettlebell Lady said...

be glad you have someone that can not only support and motivate you, but knows what she is doing so that you don't hurt yourself...take it like a man (you know you want it)

Lauren Brooks said...

See that Ben! People are saying " Do it now" and "Take is like a man". Just say the word when you are ready to start and the challenge is on.

Lauren Brooks said...

Oh and I like the idea about the wager. That always adds a bit of fun to the table. We know Ben does enjoy a little gambling here an there.

Brandon said...

From one movie buff to another...the Godfather knows best:

"In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns."-Fabrizio

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."-
Clemenza

Ben, trust your instincts!

Brandon said...

Already dreading the impending email from Lauren telling me to rescind my previous comment, I’ll take the initiative and retract my earlier statement.

I’ve been fortunate to meet (and train) several of Lauren’s clients and they all speak glowingly of her diligence and compassion as a trainer. I know that for the hour your training you should expect nothing less (though I can’t make any promises for the other 23 hours of the day.)

Jennifer said...

Ben,
As a physician, please let me apologize for our ineptitude at times. I've been practicing medicine for 7 years now, and my biggest lessons have been that 1. we, as physicians, often do more harm than good--all well-intentioned of course. 2. People don't want to be helped;they want a magic pill. If they wanted to be helped, they would do what was right in the first place like quit smoking, eat right and get off their respective asses. These actions actually take care of the root of the problem as opposed to placing a poorly functioning band-aid on it. 3. The oldest people I see (think 90-100y years old) are rarely on more than 2 medicines. 4. Unfortunately, more often than any of us like to admit, we are guessing at what is going on in any given situation. This was one of my biggest disappointments when I figured it out in med school.
Having said that, I would like for you to study lesson number 2. Now, from a different perspective... Your beautiful wife does her absolute best to take care of herself and ward off any future problems--presumably to ensure a healthy bunch of golden years for herself and you. Now look at things from her perspective. The wonderful man whom she loves and with whom she will share the remainder of her years neglects himself, and therefore, their future together. No amount of her love can change that. She can encourage you, cook for you, beg you, but she cannot take those last critical steps of dedication; she can't make the consistently healthy food choices. She can't swing the kettlebell for you. I have no doubt that if she could, she would. So if you don't take her challenge, and forty years from now the two of you sit on the beach looking at a sunset, how will you feel if you are holding her back, if you are the invalid spouse whose choices 30 and 40 years ago now mean that your beautiful, vital, active 60-something-year-old wife must nurse and nurture you as you suffer from your self-inflicted illnesses? Had you done everything you could to prevent those circumstances, you might be able to accept it better--or you might not have to accept it all.
Please take this challenge. This perspective, the heartache you may hear in my type-written voice is my own. My heart aches for my husband to make that choice.
Knowing that someone somewhere was making a change would at least give me hope that one day he will, too.

Jennifer

Franz Snideman said...

right on Ben!You can do it bro and with Lauren by your side, you'll kick serious butt!

Ben Miller said...

First of all, I am completely overwhelmed by the response. Most of you don't know me on a personal level and therefore could not have known that this blog was mostly tongue-in-cheek. That being said, your thoughts have caused me to stop and think. I had no doubt from the beginning about whether or not I would take Lauren's challenge. More than a challenge, it is a way for me to be healthier and possibly be slightly more attractive to my wife (if that's possible). I would have to be a fool to not utilize the tools that are right next to me everyday. Jennifer's words really hit home. Her paragraph about Lauren not being able to swing the kettlebell for me was quite powerful. The truth in those words is amazing. I do have the most amazing spouse and I have no doubt that she would do anything for me, and then some. So I am here to proclaim that the challenge will begin this week (within the next day or two). I know that it's not going to be easy (especially being around my family and our focus on every meal), but I am in for the long haul. I do not want Lauren to miss out on the things that she loves because I am physically incapable (now or later on in life) of doing them. For censorship purposes, there will be no beginning picture posted at this time. But the blogs will continue and my progress will be well documented. One last thing, I hope my father reads these words and knows that his family (children and grandchildren) wants him to be around forever (you're the only one that knows how to keep mom in check). Healthy is hard and not always fun, but in the end it's the right choice to make for yourself and those who truly love you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Aaron Friday said...

Forget those pictures of the pretty boys. Swinging the bells will make you stronger, mentally and physically, and you will be glad.

And forget 5 days a week. Do 2 days a week, for 20 minutes tops. Most anyone can do that. Keep track of what you do by writing it down privately or blogging it. Your progress will be obvious.

After awhile, you'll want to do more, and you will, but don't attempt going from 0 to 10. Gradual progress over a year's time is magical. Give a little, get a little. Give a little more, get a little more. This is how it works.

Jennifer said...

Ben,
Glad to hear you're going to get started. I'll look forward to keeping up with your progress.
Jen

Lauren Brooks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lauren Brooks said...

Aaron,

I completely agree with you about easing in to any type of workout program to avoid burnout. But with some people, like Ben, they need to get in the routine of including some type of activity in their life almost every day. He is a very routine guy. If he missed more than 2 days, even in the very beginning, it will be that much harder for him to start again. It doesn't have to be to challenging at first. Just getting the body use to moving more. Whether he is starting today or tomorrow, I plan on just doing 20 minute workouts this week with him.

Lauren Brooks said...

Jennifer,

Thank you so much! Your comment was sincere and amazing! You have no idea how inspiring your words really are. If others are reading this that are dealing with the same issues about getting a loved one to start a health program, your hit it on the nose. So thank you again! 8-)

Ben actually stepped on the tanita scale yesterday and got an estimate of what his body fat is. I will let him tell everyone though.

Howie B said...

Don't use the Tanita scale to give absolute percentages for body fat!!! I've found it to vary greatly just depending on the time of day. Pick one time of day to use it (say right after brushing teeth in the morning) and then only use it as a relative measure, amount increased or decreased relative to last measurement.

Anonymous said...

How exciting!!! I am jealous ... wish I had my own personal trainer and nutritionist who was willing and available to help with my goals :) Glad to hear you are feeling better and taking the challenge to become healthy! The benefits are amazing. I was sick last week and missed my work outs completely...just going back to the gym this morning i am so energized and cant wait to go back tomorrow.

Iron Tamer said...

Looking forward to your progress Ben!

samnuts said...

I love you Benjamin E. Miller(d),
Living long and healthy, with a mind and body that makes you proud of yourself is a lifestyle. Its not a two week goal or a four week goal, its something you do every day till yer 90 and yer lil' Lyla Joon goes 'Damn Daddy, you an' Mommy are AWESOME!'
Live the life of a healthy Daddy. You are amazing! Lauren is amazing! Lyla is soooooo amazing she's on my desktop! I get to look at her beautiful face EVERY DAY! Let's live the life, Ben. I'm with you. Always have, always will.
Much love to you and your family,
Sam

Anonymous said...

I just happened across your wife Laurens blog while doing a search on Kettlebells...and now I'm here...I too have a lot of stomach problems; food allergies to most grains, legumes, and dairy and know a lot of people with Crohn's disease and on...so I want to make a suggestion that you read into the Paleodiet and also into Hunter/gatherer diets. Once I went paleo the health problems, the pain, the bloating, the diarrhea, etc went away...and I DO NOT need any prescription drugs...life is so much better w/o pills...
Second, do the challenge if you haven't already started. Health is way more important than ice cream...take care of yourself now and you will be happy that you did when you get older...